Reassurance

When I wake up every morning there's an inexplicable feeling in my gut that reflects my mood for the day. And it's usually terrible.

Uncertainty.
The word alone just looks disgusting and sounds discordant whenever I see or hear it.

I fear going to bed at night. Mainly because I'm never able to fall asleep comfortably. Even though I close my eyes while laying down, I'm still awake for countless hours just thinking about random crap. I probably shouldn't call it random crap... It's what I want to do with the rest of my life.

I really do miss freshman year. Not because of its light workload, the ridiculous amount of free time I had, or the joy of adjusting a wonderful city like Austin. I miss it because I knew precisely what I wanted to do and how I wanted to get there. And just recently this year, I've been waking up with the feeling that maybe the plan that I was so deeply vested in is not what I really want to do. But at this point, everything is almost solidified.

I would feel shitty taking a sledgehammer to it.